Patience… (Psalm 40) 170308
I have a good time at the recent retreat at Telunas Beach. I had a wonderful time with the Lord and myself. There is nothing much I have done there, beside waiting patiently for the Lord (v1). I did only that, to be patience with the Lord as He has been patience to me.
I brought along with me tonnes of burdens, decisions, emotional hurts and unresolved situations to the retreat. I laid them down before the Lord, and waited patiently for Him to deal with me. He did! He brought me out of my spiritual wilderness and set my feet to the journey of recovery (v2). He put a new song in my mouth, so that I could sing of His love and praise His name for showing me my weaknesses and confronting me my pride and fears; but I will trust in Him (v3).
I have been serving with a subtle sense of my messiah mentality. I served, I sacrificed, I did more than I can cope, I bear all unnecessary burdens upon myself, I compare my ministry with others, I despised my weaknesses, and I despised my own desires. But these are not what the Lord desires or requires (v6,7). All He wants of me is to be in His presence. All He wants of me is to really know Him as I am. I do not need to be someone else to know God. I do not need to be a pastor to know Him, I do not need to be a missionary to know Him, I do not need to be a small group leader to know Him, I do not need to be a counselor to know Him, I do not need to be a teacher to know Him, and I do not need to be an BB officer to know Him. I need to be Lee Sue Yeong Abel to know Him.
I need to be patience to know Him, for He reveals Himself differently to different people. I am glad I went for the retreat. I know the Lord had spoken to me, and others.
The Book 1 of Psalms ends at Psalm 41, I will break my reflection on the Psalms after tomorrow. I will begin a new series of my reflection of how the Lord and what the Lord has spoken to me during the retreat. It might be in a form of narrative, and might be difficult to follow, as many of those episodes might be too personal, only I understand. And I am not going to stick to the Scripture as closely as I did in devotion, but I will still hope to share how the Scripture impacts my reflection and shapes my direction.
I know some may find this boring, and not relevant to you. You are feel to ignore, I will not be offended. But I still want to thank those who has been reading my blogs and devotions, you have journeyed with me through my darkest moments and have been encouraging me, cheering me on, I am indeed grateful to have friends like you. Thanks.
I am not completely recovered, though the Lord has set my feet on the road to recovery. Be patience! Be patience with me, be patience with the Lord, and be patience with yourself. Is there anything you need to be patience of?
HHS…
Abel…
