Be Gracious to me… (Psalm 41) 200308
Finally, I am coming to the end of Book 1 of Psalms. The past two days were rather an unique experience for me. It is not that I encountered God in a vision, or I had a close-to-death encounter. It was simply a test of the state of my inner being.
I brought my father to do a medical procedure called Angiogram, that is to put some dye into the blood stream and scan to see if there is any blockages in any of the major blood vessels. It was actually a simple procedure, usually requires only half a day. Because my father is on some medication which required his blood to be tested which takes at two hours before he could do the angiogram. Furthermore he also had developed abdomen pain (most likely due to fear of surgery), he had to be under observation. And after he was done with angiogram, he had to rest for at least four hours in the recovery ward before discharged. In all, he spent almost eleven hours in the hospital.
As I thought that the procedure will only take half a day, and I had some assignments to submit and a test to be taken to that day. In the evening, I also had Student Council meeting to attend. But I knew that I couldn’t make it. My heart was weak too, as in I began to feel panicky and my thoughts run wild. Anyway, I requested prayer from some brothers and sisters in Christ, and I prayed too. I thank God that I managed to go back to school to submit my assignments and take the test, and at the same time informed the relevant people that I might not be make it for the Student Council meeting. I found peace and strength. I found joy too. I found myself walking in the presence of God.
Psalm 41 starts with the Psalmist counting the blessings of God upon him. He acknowledged his weakness and helplessness (v1a). He trusted that the Lord will deliver (v1b), protect (2a), and sustain (v3a) him. Likewise, the Lord will deliver me from my agony and anxiety as I am faced with stressful situation; the Lord will also protect me from sinking into depressive thoughts again and again; and the Lord will surely sustain me and give me strength to go through storms after storms, refreshment to restore me to move on.
All these are possible because God is gracious to me. Lord, be gracious to me (v4). I am not sure if I deserve His protection, deliverance and sustenance. If I am to consider my sinfulness, I am unworthy. But God does not look at me as such, He gazes at me with love and compassion. He is gracious to me. He gives me brothers and sisters in Christ who will faithfully and lovingly pray for me. Now I am confident that my prayer support team is only a message away. And God’s will be activated as they pray.
Be gracious to me (v4, v10), this is the cry of the Psalmist. This is also my cry. I can be going about doing many things without being aware of God’s work in my life. I can be so engrossed in my suffering and pain and misery and missed our God’s faithfulness and lovingkindness. I can be so busy with day to day affairs and forget to have a meaningful affair with God. By this, I do not deserve God’s deliverance, protection and sustenance; but God, be gracious to me and He is gracious.
I think that to constantly aware of my fallen and sinful nature is very crucial. It helps me and reminds me of my unworthiness and undeserving of God’s love, but yet God’s graciousness and lovingkindness overshadow me because God loves me.
The beauty of this Psalm is that God will finally set me in His presence forever (v12). What can be more beautiful than this assurance? To be in His presence forever is the most privilege thing I can have of Him.
Be gracious to me and I will be able to bless the Lord:
Blessed be the Lord, the God of Abel (How about putting your name here?), from everlasting to everlasting. Amen and Amen (v13).
God is gracious to me, how about you?
HHS…
Abel…
