A mere breath… (Psalm 39) 130308
On Tuesday morning, I accompanied my father to consult the doctor about his upcoming heart surgery. My father’s heart is currently functioning with 50% or less efficiency. In other words, he has only half of his heart working. The process and procedure will took about a month and another two months for recovery. My father was really fearful. When we came home that day, I asked how he feel. He wished that he does not need the surgery, and cried! My father cried in fear. My father does not know how to express his emotions and thoughts, but he is really in fear.
My mother and I prayed for him and asked the peace of God to over shadow him. I read a portion of Scripture (Matt 6:25-33, in Mandarin) to him. Why fear gripped my father? It is simply he is not ready. He is not ready to accept that he have no control over his own life. He is not ready to face the possibility of losing his life (there is about 10% risk in such surgery). As a pre-believer, he does not know what lies ahead of him in life or in death. There is not no hope and he is not ready to face hopelessness.
What is life? The Psalmist put it in this way: Every man is at best a mere breath (v5, v11). Yes, Every man is at best a mere breath, my father is a mere breath, and I am also a mere breath. This thought really captures me. I am only but a mere breath? This what God did in Genesis to Adam! He breathed in Adam (Gen 2:7). Adam was a mere breath. Jesus did the same thing in the Gospel of John: He breathed on His disciples so that they might receive the Holy Spirit (Jn 20:22). I am a mere breath.
I am so humbled by this thought. I quieten down and listen to my breathing. It is so amazing. I hear the grace of God as I inhale and I hear compassion of God as I exhale. I smell the sweet aroma of God’s lovingkindness. I breathe in the spirit of God through the words of this Psalm and it dissolves into my bloodstreams and pumps to all parts of my body by the new heart given by God, so that I am revitalize by the life giving spirit, strengthening and refreshing me.
I am a mere breath. But the important question is: Who is the one breathing on me? Breathing is such a natural and simple thing for me. I have never given much thought to it, but today, I am reminded that I am a mere breath, and I breathe because of God’s grace.
I think it is so beautiful to take time to listen to my own breathing. And hear the voice of God through His breathe into me. Maybe I should just do this the next few days. I am a mere breath. So are you. But who is breathing into you?
HHS…
Abel…
