I am lonely and afflicted… (Psalm 25) 210208
I couldn’t sleep the last night. I was tossing and turning the entire night. My heart was disturbed, my spirit was uneasy, and mind was full for negative thoughts. I was worried. I was fearful. I suddenly felt lonely, even though I know my wife and my daughter was just next to me. I was lonely. I was afflicted by the insomnia. I simply couldn’t sleep. I was lonely and afflicted (v16).
This morning, there is still no peace within me. There is no peace with my heart. Something is eating into my soul. Though I feel very tired, but I just cannot carry on sleeping. I cannot rest without the peace. Oh God, I lift up my soul to You (v1), has mercy on me. Oh Lord, shows me Your compassion and lovingkindness (v6), remembers me (v7) and You are good and upright (v8). I am here to surrender my worries and fears to You. Turn Your eyes to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted (v16). My heart is greatly in distress (v17), and help me to take refuge in You (v21).
As I quiet down, I realize how weak is my heart, how frail is my humanness, and how sinful is my soul. I need God’s forgiveness for all of my sins (v18). Without forgiveness, without a clean soul, and without righteousness of God in me, I cannot have peace. Forgive me, Oh God!
Forgive me for getting angry with my father last night. Forgive me for not able to understand him and acknowledge his emotional struggles. Forgive me for being angry with my father slamming the gates at me. Forgive me for I did not have a pure heart to love my father wholeheartedly. Forgive me for getting irritated with my mother last night. Forgive me for being impatience in my heart while she pour out her emotional hurts of the past. Forgive me for not being empathetic towards her. Forgive me for being so selfish. FORGIVE ME!
Last night, I was really lonely. I was just hoping someone will talk to me and hear me out. But no one is there. I was lonely. My heart was afflicted by all things that had happened. I was lonely and afflicted, but I know God was there when I was lonely, God was there when I was afflicted. God was there sitting beside me, waiting for me to call upon Him, but I didn’t. I wait until this morning, then I cry out to Him. He is still here, waiting for me to call upon Him. He is here to comfort me. He is here to wipe away my tears when I cry. He is here to assure me that He is always with me when I am lonely and afflicted.
Who is with you when you are lonely and afflicted?
HHS…
Abel…
