Examinations and Tests… (Psalm 26) 220208
I was able to go for a swim yesterday morning, after my devotion. It was really cold, but refreshing. I was very tired and sleepy, and to a certain extend, stressed out; but the swim got me relax and refresh. The best word for it: COOL!
I was also encouraged and my spirit was lifted up by a brother’s text message of affirmation and concern. I knew that I was not alone, I have a community of brothers and sisters in Christ, journeying together with me. I was so grateful to the Lord for giving me this community of brothers and sisters in Christ.
Maybe some people think that I am seeking attention by writing such personal and highly emotional devotions. Maybe some people think that I am overly sensitive or I am just simply too weak and easily being affected. I am merely trying to be honest with myself and with God, and also with the world around me. I acknowledge that I am weak, but that is part of my fallen human nature. I am not hiding it, but examining it and dealing with it.
Today’s Psalm also encouraged me to be examined and tried by God, asking Him to test my mind and heart (v2). I beg God to free me from my weakness and simply give me the strength from within to deal with my family and emotional problems, just at a snap of the fingers. I cry to God to vindicate me, clear my name, and help me out (v1). I am assuming (or I am actually boasting) that I am walking in my integrity! I dare not say so. I may not be a wick and evil person, but surely there are times I have failed and not walk in my integrity. Sometime I know it and sometime I don’t; therefore I need to constantly examine and test my mind and my heart.
I am thankful that I am able to have a full day off today from school. Somehow God has arranged in His Divine Appointment, knowing that I need a rest to organize my thoughts and emotions, causes my lecturer to reschedule the classes to other days. I do not know what should I do or where should I go today, but I know that I should rest.
I think I will be spending sometime to dwell in presence of God. I want to be where the glory of God dwells (v8). I want to be where the presence of God resides. I want to be living with God (v8). I want to be closed to God not because I am hyper-holy or I am practicing mystical practices. It is merely because I know that I am under the mercy of God. I might be taken away along into the downward spiral with the sinners and invite God’s judgment (v9).
God, be gracious to me (v11) as I examine my walk with You, testing my thoughts and emotions. Only You can redeem me if I slip my foot. Only You can provide me a level ground for my foot to stand on (v12). Only You will walk with me through all sort of terrains and and all sort of weathers. You will be there for me as I examine my walk and test my mind and heart. You will not condemn me, but help me to get back to the righteous path because of Your grace and mercy.
Examine and test your ming and heart too, be assured that God will walk you through and restore you in the path of righteousness and integrity.
HHS…
Abel…
