Complaint King… (Psalm 10) 300108
Why good things happen to bad people and bad things happen to good people? This kind of injustice causes me to question and doubt God again and again. But this is nothing new, even the Psalmist of Psalm 10 was doing the same thing! God, why do You allow Your people to complain about You? Why are there injustice?
As I read and reflect on Psalm 10, my heart has a desire, a desire to see God exercises His justice. I want people to know that my God is a God of justice, my God is like a superman who will be there to save and help people who are in danger or being oppressed. But as I search deeper within and beneath my desire, I know that I have difficulty accepting God as Lord. I have said in silence that God has forgotten me (v11). God is not with me.
Recently, I am in my journey of recovery from spiritual wilderness, and I was being introduced to many writing on spirituality. I discover that I have been running away from the presence of God rather than desiring to be in His presence. I hide myself from God. As I search deeper into my heart, I see the ugliness of it. My heart is so ugly that I cannot bear to see it myself, lest to allow God to see it. Therefore, I hide.
On one hand, I champion for justice, like the Psalms, I also complain of injustice. This is because I am trying to cover up the ugliness of my heart. I remember the illustration commonly use in evangelistic rally to convey the point that human hearts are sinful, the evangelist will ask the people to imagine that all the thoughts in their mind and heart to be made into a VCD or DVD, who will be able to watch it or let other to watch it? The point is that human hearts are deceitful and full of evil intent.
I complain to the King, but I am not willing to reveal my sinfulness in God’s presence. I mask myself as a king, a complaint king. I complain so that I only see the injustice of others, including God. But I God wants me to see that what I am complaining about is what I am struggling about, in one way or another.
Yesterday, my father was admitted to hospital due to his heart condition. In the process of recovery, I thought that God has removed adversities from my life, giving me rest from bad news. But this year was not as good as I hope it would be, one of my sister who is in Hong Kong, her thyroid condition was unstable, and my father was hospitalized due to his heart condition. These is not including my adjustment to my two months old daughter. I thought that I would collapse and sink into depression again, instead I was reminded to give thanks. I don’t even know what can I give thanks for, but I simply give thanks. I told my wife that I don’t want to be a complaint king, but a compliment king.
I am thankful that my sister should be able to come to Singapore tomorrow to join us for the Lunar New Year, my father’s condition has been stable, and my little two months old princess gives me and my wife much rest at night. I am thankful. I know things can be worse, but I just to remain thankful, fixing my eyes upon the Jesus and His Cross.
I am thankful that as I read the Psalms, I don’t merely study them and interpret them, but I am sensing the finger of God writing the words of these Psalms. I can sense His presence as I quiet myself to listen and simply enjoy God in the process of reading. I am not a good reader, but I enjoy reading God in the Psalm.
I have a position paper and a report due tomorrow and I have a meeting to attend tonight. But I am at peace. Maybe it is because I have been complaining less. Have you been complaining lately? Think of how you can compliment instead, and you will be bless.
HHS…
Abel…
