Grace of God’s presence with me (Psalm 139:1-18)
I am lost; totally and completely lost. I am lost in the world, I am lost in my sorrow, and I am lost in my search for God. I am simply lost. I seem to be in somewhere where God is not there. But somehow, I know that God is there. Where are You God?
I am still lost. I am lonely, I am fearful, and I am lost. I need someone to be there for me, I need someone to guide me and someone to be with me, simply be with me. I know God You are there. No, You are not there, You are here. You are also there. You are there, when You made me in my mother’s womb. You are there, when I try to flee from Your presence. You are there when I am good; You are there when I am bad. You are there when I am right; You are there when I am wrong. You are there when I am rejoicing; You are there when I am in pain. You are there. You are not only there, You are here too, at the same time.
You are here when I am lost; You are here to search me. You are here when I have troubling thoughts; You are here and know my thoughts. You are here when I am fearful: You are here to comfort me. I know You are here, although I don’t seem to feel that You are here. I know You are there; but You are here too.
You do everything for me. You are everything to me. You have searched me. You know me. You perceive my thoughts. You discern my going out and lying down. You are familiar with my ways. You know the words I am going to say. You hem me in. You have laid Your hand upon me. You are there. Your hand will guide me. You right hand will hold me fast. You created my inmost being. You knit me together. You know me full well. You saw my unformed body. You ordained me. You are still with me.
I am grateful, O Lord. I am grateful for Your promises. I am grateful for Your presence. It is by Your grace that You are there for me, and You are also here with me. It is Your grace that I am still with You. It is Your grace that I am in Your presence. Thank You God. I am simply grateful.
In the midst of my pain and confusion, You are here for me. In my growth and formation and the journey I am traveled thus far as a Christian, You are there with me, all the way. Your presence is there and here. Your presence is there when I backslidden; Your presence is there when I came back to You. You presence is there when I envied others and followed them to wanted to serve You; Your presence is there when I made a decision to give up my teaching career. You are there when I was being excommunicated by Your people. You are there when I lost an unborn child. But you are here when I in pain and confusion. You did not speak. You did not say a word. You are here. Your presence is all I need. Yes, I have received the grace of Your presence with me.
