If You had been here… (John 11:17-37) 310307
Last week was really a very stressed and depressed for me. I was experiencing a sense of lethargic that I simply could not explain and even pin point what happened to me. Beside I was physically down with slip disc condition relapsed, I also did not feel like pushing myself to complete my assignments. I was still trying to catch up my readings and assignments, but I simply did not force myself beyond what I normally would have done. I knew that I could finish some assignments by waking up earlier or staying back in school longer hours, but instead I chose to come home to have dinner and celebrate my father’s birthday for two nights, and I rather spend time to do devotion than do textual criticism or Amos synthesis paper.
I seems to have lost the drive to push on hard. But the good thing is that I am enjoying this pace of life. Weekend is here again, I have my few usual ministries to do, and some other social appointments. I might be end up tired but I think I just want to relax and go through this weekend with thanksgiving.
When I was going through times of difficulties and struggles and pains, sometimes I will tell God how I wish if He had been there with me. I know some will say that I am theological wrong to say so, God is with us all the time, everywhere, and can do everything. But how come I do not experience His presence or His help when I need Him? What was God doing when I doubted Him?
Jesus was not there when Lazarus was sick and then he died. Jesus went to the bereaved family when Lazarus was already four days in the tomb (v17). I don’t know what took Jesus four days to reach to this family. He was at Jordan, where John the Baptist was, it was near Bethany (Jn 1:28) and Lazarus was also staying in Bethany (Jn 11:1). Though verse 7 says that Jesus went to Judea (also known as Jerusalem), but it was only two miles away from Bethany (v18). What had Jesus been doing that few days? There were many other people there with the bereaved family (v19). Where was Jesus?
When Martha knew about Jesus was coming, she went out to meet Him and said to Jesus, "Lord, if You had been here, my brother would not have died." (v21). Martha cognitively knew that Jesus had the power to heal, but she was not sure if Jesus was able to be there to heal her brother. In my opinion, Martha had the right theology, but not the right faith response to Jesus. She even understood about the idea of resurrection (v24) and even recognized Jesus identity as Christ (v27). But she failed to realize her relationship with God was only at the cognitive level, and maybe to a certain extent emotional level. But Mary was different.
When Mary approached Jesus, she also said the exactly same words which Martha said (v21,32), but if Mary did something that we usually overlooked. Mary she saw Jesus, and fell at His feet (v32), and she was weeping (v33). Surely Mary was weeping, because she just lost her brother, but when she came to Jesus and saw Him, the first thing she did was to feel at His feet. This was an act of worship. This was an act of submission. This was the heart of Mary towards Jesus. Mary did not only recognize who Jesus was as Christ, but her heart response to Him without reserve. She recognized her rightful place before God, before she bring her rightful doubt to God.
I guess there is no place we can know God better than a place where we submit ourselves to Him at worship, adoring and recognizing who God is and receiving His love and grace.
I think we need to be genuine before God. We need to fall at His feet and cry out our cares and worries. I do not know how to reconcile and explain the truth about God is unchangeable but yet He can be moved and response to our prayer because of His love for us. Jesus was deeply moved in Spirit and was troubled (v33). And Jesus wept (v34). God responses to His people. God can ‘change’ but He is unchangeable! There is a tension between these two truths. The way to deal with them is to live and walk along this tension with the right position in Christ. Be submissive to God’s will and plan, but yet plea to experience His love and grace at work.
